We’re the same! 

Talking to a few people close to my heart, I told them I feel like Lucky. 
Lucky is my dog, she is a rescue dog paralyzed from the waist down. When I first found her, when I tried to pick her up, she ran away. I thought that was normal, she doesn’t know me, she’s scared. 

When I tried to introduce her to my other dogs, Lucky would scream at the slightest touch. Whether it was a harsh bite or just a nudge, Lucky would scream. 

These days I feel like Lucky, at the slightest nudge, I start screaming. This screaming takes on different forms: extreme panic attacks, episodes of uncontrollable tears, explosions of unexplainable anger. 

Lucky had been through a trauma. She had been abandoned by her family, I’m not sure if it was before or after her injury, but she was left behind because she couldn’t keep up. 

I don’t know what’s going on in your life, but if any of this resonated with you that means that there’s something inside. Something inside that never healed. 

It took a long time for lucky to stop screaming when someone touched her, eventually she stopped. Eventually she started playing. 

I pray that I get out of this phase quickly. But I have also learnt that these screams and bouts of anger are indicators of things moving inside. Even after sessions and sessions of working on myself I still have these bouts. They do have their patterns so when they increase in frequency I know that there’s something greater than what i can see going on. 

But until they calm down I force myself to face myself. To face those I scream at. I force myself because I know that I need help on the inside. 

Help is facing your insides.

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