I look at pictures of when I was a child and I want to save her. I want to save her from the person I am. She deserves better. She deserves to be content. She doesn’t deserve this. I feel like I am abusing myself- doing things that I know and always end up hating myself for.
Not to mention the isolation I cage her in. She deserves to blossom; regardless of whether late, early, or on time. She deserves to bloom in her time. She deserves to feel comfortable knowing that she is enough, that she doesn’t have to strive. She deserves so much more from me and I fail her daily.
It’s not fair to give everyone what they need, and starve her to death. I would never treat anyone the way that I’ve treated her. She deserves to be loved unconditionally, if by no one else but me. She shouldn’t have to feel lost, rejected, insufficient in her skin.