“It’s really bad.
I’ve reached a place where I don’t want to hurt the people around me. Obviously. No one wants to hurt those around them, but with me, it’s gotten to the point where I tip toe around everything so that I don’t hurt them.
I guess I do that because I know what it feels like to be hurt by someone you look up to or someone who is extremely close, so I don’t want to repeat the same situation and hurt those around me.”
Thinking about people’s feelings is exhausting a) because you are not them and they are not you, so even if you think about things you may never reach to the real conclusion of what they are feeling so you’ll never take the right decision; b) because you were not designed to take care of everyone like that.
You’re role is not to take care of every single person around you and to take into consideration their feelings. Yes, that is an important aspect of life but it is not the only one. Catering to people’s wants and feelings does not mean that you are catering to their needs. Please realise the difference.
Sometimes people have a feeling of entitlement, and when you tell them “No,” they say that you are selfish and that you are rude. Others feel like they are always right, although you and I both know that, a single person cannot always be right. Some will just blatantly take advantage of your kindness and milk it until you run dry. All of them will be ‘hurt’ if you say no, or don’t do as they please. These are the clear cases. On the other hand, there are those who are truly struggling; but just seem to put a load on you.
Have your eyes set on a goal, whether its for yourself, team, relationship, business; put that as a priority, and if people’s feelings are going to be hurt while you get to where you need to be, so be it! Because even if you tiptoe around them they will not be satisfied and you will be putting yourself on the shelf and not achieving what you want and need because of catering too much for people.
But let me put it to you in a different perspective. Not every hurt will lead to a wound. Some hurts help you build the right walls for boundaries, others help you work hard, and some just put you back in line. You’re not going around and hurting people just for the sake of it, you are putting people in their right places, so that you will be able to continue and give energy, love, and grow the things that you want, rather than pour yourself out to strangers who in the end will not appreciate your sacrifice.